thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Randomize
