she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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