Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
