marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
