what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
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