I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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