Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
