At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
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