Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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