dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
Randomize
