I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
