I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize
