On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Randomize
