You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Randomize
