Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
