so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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