That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Randomize
