bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
