is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Just invented taco cereal.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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