What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
