So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
What drink are we having for lunch?
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
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