When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Randomize
