I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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