Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
