I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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