My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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