There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
Randomize
