He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
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well he's currently spooning the coffee table
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
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I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF