3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
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Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
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That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night