Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Randomize
