Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Randomize
