It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
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