I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Can I color on your dick again?
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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