Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
