woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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