Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Randomize
