She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
