i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
