I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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