You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Randomize
