I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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