That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
