If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
jump out the window naked night went bad
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
