I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Randomize
