I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Randomize
