I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize