Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
27 Of The Most NSFW Life Hacks
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
23 Disturbing Small-Town Horror Stories
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.