I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL