you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
29 Super Simple DIY Drinking Games
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
You're breaking my sexual little heart