That's intense
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
Randomize
