she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Randomize
