I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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