Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
