Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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