every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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