We named our party play list daddy issues
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
