walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
My dick has a subreddit
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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