I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
