He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize