Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I'm passing your future prison.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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