Someone shit on the floor
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Randomize
