Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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