I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
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