1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
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